Set Up

“Looks like you and Andre’s friend got along well,” my wife said casually. We’d gone to dinner, a girls’ night out, and happened to run into her boyfriend, Andre, who was out with a friend of his, Michael. 

I sat on the bed's edge, watching her hike up her skirt to undo her stocking. “What…what’s that mean?” I asked.

“I mean while Andre and I were talking, he looked like he was enjoying your company every time I glanced over.”

“I…I don’t know about that,” I said, “I was just being polite.”

“Andre said he wanted to know who was with me,” my wife said, “I’m pretty sure he wants your number.”

“Lisa!” I exclaimed, “Like what the hell?”

“What? You two looked cute together.”

“Lisa, stop,” I said.

“It’s true,” Lisa said. “There’s nothing wrong with noticing a guy’s cute.”

“Lisa, I did not notice he was cute,” I said, a lie. 

“I hoped he’d think the same; Andre said he did.”

“You hoped? What’s that mean?”

“Andre and I have been talking,” she said.

“Talking about what?”

“Setting you up with Michael.”

“Set…setting me up…Lisa, I’m not a real girl,” I said.

Lisa nodded. “He knows,” she said. 

“He knows what?” 

“That you’re a sissy,” she said. “He finds it alluring.”

“Alluring? Lisa!”

“Hon, don’t patronize me; I know you fantasize about it. I just want to make you happy.”

“Happy how?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know…a boyfriend.”

“A boyfriend!”

“Hon, I know you think about it, why not make it a reality. Listen, we can all go out next week; me and Andre and you and Michael; just to see where it goes. Though based on what Andre said, I think I know where it might go.” She held up her hand and mimicked sucking something.

“Lisa!”

“What? A second date…it’s kind of expected.”

“He really thinks I’m cute?” I asked, looked down.

“Totally,” Lisa said. “Listen, I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry; Andre’s told him everything.”

“Everything?” I asked.

“Everything,” she said. “Who knows, maybe it’s time for someone else to take charge of your keys.”

“Lisa, you’re not serious,” I protested.

“I totally am,” she said. “I mean, it’s something to think about. It would be a big change, of course. A man’s going to instinctively understand that a locked sissy is going to be a horny sissy and not be too likely to do much about that.”