Friendzone

"I know you love me, and to be honest, I love you, too, it's just, I guess...what do they call it...what I prefer, friendzone?"

"But we're...we talked about...about marriage," I said, mouth wide.

"I know, and I don't take back anything I said."

"But you said you wanted me to go ring shopping with you, you said you wanted me to ask your parents for permission to ask you, you said...you said...you wanted to be my wife."

"I do," she said, "I want all that, I...I just don't want to...you know...I don't want to have, well, sex."

"You don't want to have sex?" I asked, unbelievable. "You don't like sex?"

"Not...not with you," she said.

"Not with me? What's that mean?"

"It means I like sex, it means I love sex, just...just not with you," she said. 

"You want to get married and never have sex?"

"Again, just not with you," she said. "Listen, you always say you're happiest when you're pleasing me, right? That's what I like, too. When you massage me and kiss me and touch me and lick me. It's just the sex part I don't like...with you."

"So you want to get married and not have sex?"

"With you," she clarified.

"With who, then?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Listen, we can still do intimate things as a couple, just not like, sex sex. More like friends."