Unknown

From the amazing Jackysis, of course.

So, I didn't realize how much I used find my phone when she was with him, how I was able to track her, get some sense of what they were doing. I knew they would go to dinner at a certain time, whether they went somewhere after, had some sense of when they'd be back at wherever they were staying, had an idea of when they were together.

Without it, I have no idea. Where are they now? Enjoying a drink a a club, flirting or at their hotel, spending intimate hours together? I don't know. I have no idea.

I know I'm at home confined by my constant companion, the thing that keeps me small, soft, denied the ability to even think about doing the things he's able to do.

And instead of tracking them, even generally, I'm left in the dark, left to wonder, and the feeling is unimaginable. 

It takes me back to the early days, before we could keep tabs on our loved ones, back to the days she'd leave town and I'd spend all night wondering.

That's what I'm doing now, spending all night wondering. 

I have not heard from her since she texted when she landed, might not hear from her all night. I don't know if he intended this, stumbled on it, or just got lucky, but having her turn of location sharing has me literally shaking with jealousy and excitement.

All I can think about is what he said, she's with her boyfriend, he'll take care of her.

And I'm left to just wait, wonder, anticipate.

I haven't had a long night like this in some time and to be honest, I'm grateful for it, grateful for her, grateful for him.